NSFW Food Porn Craziness.

Bizarre Mag is a British publication specializing in the examination of what is "bizarre", and (re)producing it, often leading to explicit content that some would say borders on porn. For their most recent June cover, they shot Aria Giovanni getting intimate with some pretty tasty, but raunchy food. Of course, I have many reasons for taking great interest in promoting such things!


Now, just follow me for a second and entertain the possibility of this scenario:
You are out on the town with your best platonic girl friend, Sophie, and several of your mutual friends. Fashionably late, Aria shows up to party. She is a friend of a close friend (and NOT a porn star). Aria looks like a cross between Monica Bellucci and Angelina Jolie, except maybe playful enough to score with on a drunken one-night-stand. The evening is going great, and you're looking to close the deal. But just when you have drunkenly convinced yourself that you are taking Aria home, after spending everything you had on drinks... she hooks up with Sophie (who was 'straight,' more or less).

Upon waking from the couch in Sophie's apartment, you recall downing a 3am 'snack' and taking a catnap/passing-the-F-out. All of a sudden, memories of the previous nights' dream come flowing in; images of a candy-colored Aria covered in prosciutto, canned beans, Diet Coke and hotdogs. You rush to get your dream down on paper, scribbling with highlighters and a melting chocolate bar, all the while foreclosing the possibility that your imagination will continue running on to Sophie covered in brie and berries (been there, done that, too sticky, too smelly, too much Sophie).
This is how I assume the following photo shoot was conceived!

I stumbled across this link at EatMeDaily.com, a site that I love for its simple look and diverse posts (and despite its name, I swear is not just about food porn). As a testament to this, they did not risk embedding the video directly on their site, which I did below. If you would prefer to go right to the interview with Aria and the final photographs, CLICK HERE.

ENJOY! (nudity)

ZAGAT ratings have begun!

I know many of you are Chowhounders.

As community-based as Chowhound is, and as seemingly monolithic and corporate as Zagat seems, many people forget that Zagat was one of first major restaurant guides to rely on the public for ratings. Now, don't get me wrong, I have many problems with the ratings system, which are echoed in this Food & Wine article by Mimi Sheraton.

Zagat however, could have reproduced the model of a hidden arbiter of taste, in which a group or a single person adds a review to the canon, like the Michelin Guide ("Famously Anonymous") or the New York Times model, where a critic would avoid her/his picture being published so to remain anonymous while dining and reviewing. Of course, this was well before you could become relatively famous all on the premise of writing about food, and make a killing off TV appearances and book deals. These shady characters (or celebrities now) tend to have extremely well-educated palates, sometimes to a fault, if that makes any sense.

On the other hand, at Chowhound we find an ever-expanding, dynamic, community-based discussion, available on any topic under the sun, including restaurants. The thing is, with both Zagat and Chowhound, we find the problem of validity - does anyone here actually know what they're talking about and did they really eat there or are they a disgruntled former employee or an eager owner? Most of the time the answer is yes (to all of the above), so although you have to be wary, nothing is better than first-hand advice that you can openly discuss, question and pick the best of.

Which is better? Most review and ratings systems have their own benefits and pitfalls, so it comes down to knowing what to look out for in each. None of them are indispensable on their own, but use them in combination with your own experience and discretion and you may find they become an indispensable tool for finding a good meal once in a while, especially if you're in a city that is new to you.

After clicking the link, pick your region. At the moment the options are limited to Canada (Montreal, Toronto, Vancouver), Europe (all of it!) and 東京のレストラン (something Japanese... Tokyo?). Also, you'll need to create an account. It's quick - I did it, and I'm really lazy. Like really, really lazy.

RATE YOUR DINING EXPERIENCES HERE FOR THE ZAGAT GUIDE.


GET YOURSELF A CHOWHOUND ACCOUNT HERE & GET IN ON THE DISCUSSION.

More tuna?

While I write up my gnocchi night, you should watch this video shot at the Tsukiji (築地市場) fish market in Japan. Despite having quite a dismal tone and content to it, the way that the translated speech of these Tokyo fishmongers comes out is pretty humorous. Wait for the "Catherine Zeta-Jones type of tuna" (2 minutes in). Plus, I posted a video of salt-crusted sea bass previously, so I had to follow it up with some tuna sashimi. Sorry about the commercials in advance.

Recipe: Roast Tenderloin of Cured Pork with Baked Apples

I can't believe that this turned out as well as it did. Much better than expected. Up to this point I had yet to cure, brine, pickle or even preserve - nothing of the sort.

The pork came out juicy, the apples were sweet, tart and soft - a small square of butter helped, though they could have been softer had I timed them better, and the onions and carrots were braised, then browned with cinnamon and maple syrup, just as they should be.

I had to cut the recipe in half since I was only cooking a tenderloin for myself, not an entire loin on the bone as called for by the recipe in Chez Panisse Cooking (Bertolli with Waters, 1994).

It is a really basic brine, and I would not expect anything less (more?) in Alice Waters' repertoire. It does take 24 hours to prepare however, so best to use this recipe when you have a day to wait, and a couple spare things around to make the brine - parts of carrots, celery, onions, and the last bit of your purchased herbs or a couple from your garden.

Juniper berries can be found at most health stores and fancy grocery stores, or if you're lucky enough, on a nearby Juniper tree (think gin). If you've had your fair share of gin hangovers, you can leave these guys out.

Do make sure to grab some good pork though. If you're in the Montreal-area with a deep-freezer or a serious addiction to pork, rumor has it these guys are the best: Porcherie Ardennes (Martin Picard, of Au Pied du Cochon, apparently sources from here). If not, do the next best thing -- grain-fed from your local butcher or grocer. While you're at it, make sure to grab some string from your butcher. It's always nice to tuck back the 'tail' of the loin, and wrap the entire cut around a sprig or two of rosemary.

Roast Tenderloin of Cured Pork with Baked Apples (serves 2)

For the brine:

• 1/4 cup + pinch, additive-free kosher salt
• 3/8 cup granulated sugar
• 1/2 gallon (just under 2 litres) ice water
• 10 whole juniper berries
• 10 whole allspice berries
• 1/2 teaspoon whole black peppercorns
• 1/2 leafy stalk of celery, thinly sliced
• 1/2 a medium carrot, thinly sliced
• 1/8 yellow onion, thinly sliced
  
• 2 sprigs thyme
• 2 sprigs parsley
• 1 bay leaf

For the pork:

• 1 pork tenderloin
• freshly ground pepper
• 2 sprigs rosemary

For the apples:

• 2-3 granny smith apples (or other tart apples that can stand up to cooking. Maybe Bramley? Ha.)
• 1 tablespoon brown sugar
• 1 teaspoon cinnamon
• 1/2 teaspoon nutmeg
• a couple twists of freshly ground black pepper
  
• 1 pad butter

For the vegetables:

• 8-10 assorted pearl onions (also known as cocktail onions)
• 6-8 medium carrots (not those massive ones in the plastic bag)
• MAPLE SYRUP!
• CINNAMON!
  

------------------------

Brine the pork a day ahead to tenderize and flavor the meat. As described by Paul Bertolli, "brining is like marinating, although the effect is more radical: the pork is entirely submerged for 2 to 5 days [or in our case and a small cut, 1 day] and the flavors of the brine reach to the very center of the meat, imparting characteristics of a mildly cured ham."

Had tenderloin in the restaurant, but couldn't figure out how to get it so flavorful once at home? This is the missing element.

For the brine:

• In a large bowl, dissolve the salt and the sugar in the ice water.
• Crack the pepper, juniper berries and allspice in a mortar.
• Add the vegetables, herbs and spices to the water.
• Wash out and scald a stainless-steel pot or ceramic bowl with a lid.
• Place the tenderloin in the pot and poor the brine over top of it, completely submerging the meat.
• Store in the refrigerator at 40°F for 18-24 hours.

[...sleep. work. come home...]

• Preheat the oven to 350°F.
• Line a plate with paper towels. Remove the meat from the brine and place onto the paper towels. Dry and remove any excess brine on the surface.
• Fold the tenderloin in half, length-wise, placing a couple of rosemary sprigs in the crease. Wrap string around the thicker end of the tenderloin, tying a knot to anchor it there. Then wrap around the meat again, securing the half-length fold, while moving the string toward the 'tail' of the tenderloin.
• Tuck in the 'tail' of the tenderloin, over top of the rosemary sprigs and into the length-wise fold, then securing it in place by wrapping the remaining string around it and finishing with another knot. This helps ensure that the meat cooks evenly, as it will have a consistent width throughout.

For the apples:

• Slice the top quarter of the apples off, core the rest. Stuff the apples with brown sugar, cinnamon, nutmeg, black pepper (yes! black pepper), and a lil'bit'a'butta.
• Get a small pyrex dish or loaf pan. Fill it with just enough water to line the bottom. Place the apples in the dish and their tops back on them. If they won't sit flat, slice a bit of the bottom off so they have a flat surface to rest on. Cover the dish with aluminum foil and bake until their insides are soft and mushy and the skins are brown and wrinkled.
  

For the pork and vegetables:

• Preheat a cast-iron skillet and oil it with a high smoke-point oil and a touch of butter.
• In your cast-iron, sear the outside of the tenderloin until both sides are browned.
• Coat the meat in fresh pepper.
• Remove the cast-iron from your stove and place it in the oven. Roast the pork for just over 20 minutes (140°F internal temperature), depending on the size.
  
• Once finished, remove the meat from the pan and wrap tightly in aluminum foil to let it rest.
• Place the pan back on the stove on medium-high. Add water to the pan and de-glaze it with a wooden spoon.
• Next, add the peeled carrots and pearl onions to the pan. Cover to let braise. Remove pan from the element when done (5-7 minutes?), drizzle with maple syrup and cinnamon. Let cool slightly, then remove remaining skins from the onions.
• Unwrap and untie the meat, removing the rosemary and setting aside for garnish. Cut as shown above.
• Prepare a salad beforehand, then serve the pork with baked apple, carrots and onions, fresh out of the oven and off the stove.
  

Recipes and deliveries...?

Coming soon!

• What will Les Jardins de Tessa, my CSA (Community Supported Agriculture) farm, bring me this week? The pick-up is Tuesday, a mere half-block from my apartment.
• Vichyssoise w/ Fennel (hot or cold, it's up to you)
  
• Gnocchi² (potato with red pepper pesto and ricotta with basil pesto -- first pillow-y batches were consumed tonight!)
• Brined Pork Tenderloin (it's "well preserved in my Frigidaire"), brining right now per Chez Panisse Cooking's instructions -- when will I eat it? who will I eat it with? Stay-tuned!)

Müvbox

I have seen pictures around of some similar set-ups, but I was shocked when I heard that this shipping-container-turned-canteen had hit the streets of Old Montreal. Not only is it partly solar-powered and made from a ton of different recycled materials, it is the perfect mix of high and low dining, serving up lobster from les Îles de la Madeleine and seafood pizza street-fare style.

I'll visit this week and give an update.

Watch the video below to see the cube come to life!

Müvbox
Open from 11:30 a.m. to 10:00 p.m.,
7 days a week, weather permitting.
Quai des Éclusiers,
Old Port of Montreal
(Corner of McGill & de la Commune)

Terri Timely: Synesthesia

The directing team Terri Timely makes great short films, commercials, and music videos for some equally great artists (St. Vincent, Joanna Newsom and Modest Mouse, to name a few). Their short film "Synesthesia" is less food-related than food-containing, but it's neat looking nonetheless.

You can view it here thanks to A Rockridge Life and Terri Timely:

Cookin' with Coolio

This is old. I bet you haven't seen it though. If you haven't... you need to (yes, this is the Coolio of "Gangta's Paradise" and "1,2,3,4" fame). Most people will find this ridiculous, but I find it hilarious. Either way, it's worth watching. 10 episodes in all at MyDamnChannel.com.

Food, Inc. & Kitchen 4B

Food, Inc. is a documentary-style film recently released. It features several food 'activists' (or at least today's bunch of talk show circulators with their own films and books). Apparently it is in the same vein as Michael Pollan's recent books, The Omnivore's Dilemma and In Defense of Food.

Check out Jill Santopietro's interview with Robert Kenner, the filmmaker: Now Screening | ‘Food, Inc.’

You may also want to see Jill's video series for the online NY Times Magazine. If any of you have lived in a small apartment for the past 5 years like me, or have seen how small some New York apartments can be, you will find these videos shot in her tiny kitchen pretty endearing.

It's the "End of the Line" at On the Line

No, I'm not quitting this whole blog business on my second post.

I have a link for you about our fish stocks. I am feeling pretty good about how convenient the release of this film makes it for me to continue writing witty titles.

For the record, I have pretty much sworn off Bluefin tuna and Chilean sea bass. Pretty much. In saying "sworn off", what I really mean is that I haven't been tempted by them. It has been my luck (or as the devil on my other shoulder tells me, my bad luck) that I have not crossed the path of tuna or sea bass on a menu ever since I became conscious of what it really means to eat them.

But they taste so damn good. Seriously. Have you had a plate of tuna sashimi or sea bass baked in a salt crust?



I don't know what I'll do when either is presented to me. Just listen to me - I'm almost talking in the past tense; "presented", as if ordering them is obligatory and I had no part in the decision. Half of me thinks I would do the right thing, not the indulgent thing, but a delicacy is a little like a femme fatale: some men cannot help but indulge themselves, no matter how much chaos and death they know will come about from their wayward acts.

Maybe this high-profile film, "End of the Line", and the 6 episode special courtesy of Babelgum will bestow (or force) some morally-charged will power upon me. The film is narrated by Ted Danson! wooo.... (I can't really talk trash. The guy was on Cheers and Curb.)

Let me know what you think!

Click below for the first couple of episodes at Babelgum:

Ugh. Really? Another food blog?

You are not alone.

I am also fatigued by the recent irruption of food blogs.

At first I loved them... but now most have grown tiresome. Too many Betty-homemakers and self-acclaimed gourmets with dial-up and digital cameras are out there trying to be the next Ruth Reichl or land a cook-book deal.

As with most things however, there are a few that hit the sweet spot and do justice to their aims. Many of these successes can be found in a good top-50 list done by The London Times: 50 of the world's best food blogs.

As you may be hoping, I will do my best to avoid the food 'diary' model -- it's boring and sort of self-indulgent. Instead, I want to provide you with a "feed" about food, for food. While my life is in limbo (staff/student/searching for the next step) I need an outlet for my obsession. I will update here as frequently as possible with items collected from other sites and blogs, as well as a few food experiences of my own or a short blurb explaining a link I want to share.

I chose "On the Line" thinking mainly about the backbone of any great restaurant's kitchen: the fast-paced line cooks -- specialists who serve up individual components that, once plated, aspire to be greater than their individual parts in a sum-ptious meal. I was kind of thinking I'd do something like that, but with like 'online food', and links, and the odd write-up of my own, you know?