Saveurs & Tentations, August 12-16th

Beginning today is the first annual Saveurs & Tentations! The event is taking place at Jacques-Cartier Quay (here in Montreal, with the rest of the Old Port piers, map), from August 12-16th.

I'm on my way out the door now to check it out. Pictures to come!

Dépanneur Le Pick-Up, Featured in the New York Times "The Moment"

At one time, Montreal seemed manageable. It is an extremely small city, walkable from end-to-end, composed mostly of old neighborhoods around a small downtown core and obligatory cookie-cutter suburbs on the outskirts. There's actually not much city to speak of. When you hear Montreal is small, you get the impression that you can master the city; get a hold of it, tackle it in pieces or consume it whole and then watch it grow and change under your supervision. Then you realize there are far too many people, cultures and turnovers in business to ever wrestle this city into submission.

Why am I going on about Montreal like this? I'm a little overwhelmed. Despite having lived in this city for nearly five years now, someone from the New York Times has to tell me about Montreal's newest and best goings-on.

For example, The New York Times "The Moment" blog series has foiled my "first scoop" plans in the past, and continues to beat me to the punch, as Genevieve Paiement staked out Dépanneur Le Pick-Up. Her article can be found here: Pulled Pork and Performance Art in Montreal.

I feel a little better knowing that the Mirror did a feature on Le Pick-Up, as did the Gazette, the MartiniBoys have taken notice, La Presse was probably the first to make mention of this revamped dépanneur, and Genevieve Paiement is a Montreal resident. I'm late to the action, but not too late, and I am in good company. If only I could receive a $/word paycheck for publishing a review of a restaurant that five other media sources had just exhausted...

Dépanneur Le Pick-Up seems to have the potential to become a hipster haunt, but if they serve a good pulled pork sandwich I could not care less. The head chef has worked at Au Pied de Cochon and Garde Manger, so he knows what he's doing. Apparently there is small-scale theatre, music, performances and displays that take place as well. Their website has a list of events, a menu, photos and even a blog. Variety is essential for operating a successful dép, and I am all for trading Brillo pads and toilet paper for "performance art and pulled pork" (cheap smokes, beer and snacks are still offered). There's probably another normal dép at the end of the block anyway.

O.Noir branches out from MTL to TO

O.Noir is pointless. Add the Opaque restaurants on the west coast and the Dark Dining Project at Camaje in the West Village to the list of restaurant fads as well. Except for their policy of hiring visually-impaired staff, I really see no benefit to a restaurant in which you cannot see your food.

I understand the need for 'difference' in matters of stimulation and appreciation. What I mean is that it is common to believe that to being presented with objects that are set against a background that frames or focuses our attention by way of contrast or heightening the demand of certain senses over others facilitates our focus on a specific object. We are able distinguish it from our surroundings and then evaluate without distraction. A painting is set in a frame and hung on a wall that is not visually busy, in a gallery that allows contemplation and focus. Or, a symphony requires relative silence so that it can be heard at all, however nearly absolute silence offers an opportunity to better enjoy and judge the music without distraction. These cases function on the logic that diminishing the demand on senses that are not primary to experiencing the piece at hand, and focusing the demand of those which are, allows us to use those senses that are required in a greater capacity. Many people claim that their listening experience is enhanced by closing their eyes or being in a dark, quiet and still, essentially non-distracting  venue. This all reminds me of the old 'go blind and your hearing will become superhuman' claim that I am sure has some validity to it.

Like food, music's impact can be both enhanced or reduced by visual elements. and visual arts can be enhanced by things like music and setting in general (why does it always have to be a cold, quiet galliery?) Unlike food however, music is not essentially visual, nor or visual pieces essentially auditory. To continue the music-food analogy, a silent setting to music is not the same as a dark restaurant to food. Sometimes music is better in the dark, and sometimes your food may be visually distracting. In the latter, this would be unfortunate cases of style over substance. It does not taste nearly as nice as it looks or costs, which is a feeling that I am sure many people harbor toward fine dining. On the other hand, I like to think that in most cases visual enticement works to further excite our mind, stomach and mouths. To limit your senses seems like sacrilege to me. We salivate on sight, are primed by delightful settings, and without these cues we are missing integral parts of the dining experience.

Just watch this video and try to tell me this seems both enjoyable and worth the extra money for the 'experience'. They say it is all about texture and smells, but I just don't (won't?) buy it. Should food not always be about such things? If you cannot appreciate your food for its texture, taste and smell without a blindfold then maybe you have not been actually appreciating food. This Dana Salisbury person just seems full of gimmicky bullshit. (The girl who does a Stevie Wonder impression 16 seconds in is hilarious, but definitely not right.)

I suppose the dining experience cannot be essentialized though. Perhaps our other senses - olfactory, auditory and sensing temperature - will compensate and allow us to enjoy our food just as much at O.Noir (I won't go so far as to say 'more at O.Noir', but it is certainly a different enjoyment). After all, studies in the past  have shown no increase in salivation upon seeing pictures of food. But their method is flawed and the studies are old (ranging from the 1920's to mid-1970's) - unless I am starving, sterile pictures of food are not going to do much for me, especially since they are so prevalent and how easily we become habituated. If you were to isolate a plate of food from me however - cut off the smell, taste and temperature by way of a Plexiglas box, I guarantee it will make me salivate. Personally, I just want to see my food. It helps with textural perception (Rosenthal, Andrew. Food texture: measurement and perception (1999). pp. 3-5), prepares our mouth and stomach, and provides visual pleasure (as well as a dining experience that is not characterized by confusion).

I don't want to present just one side of the story though. O.Noir owner Moa Alameddine and his employees sum up the dining experience well in the following article, ("Dining in the dark: Concept restaurant offers feast for senses - except sight") and video, providing us with a history of the dark dining concept that makes these restaurants seems more legitimate in my opinion:

Finally, if you are interested in more dark dining, a comprehensive list of other "eating in the dark" restaurants can be found here:

"The World's Dark Restaurants"

Creepy Robot Chefs of the Future

I'm not too sure how I feel about this.

MNN.com: "40 farmers under 40" and Captain Planet.

Whenever I get backed into a corner in life, especially if it is school or a job getting me down, I have a consoling claim that I always repeat to myself: "Screw this! I am leaving, and I am going to be a farmer." It's quite irrational, and no doubt stems from a mix of my own misconceptions - a romanticized image of farming, and any apparently irreconcilable differences with whatever I happen to be doing at the time that is a source of stress and most likely city-centered.

The following group of farmers, featured by the Mother Nature Network (MNN), makes my claim seem a little less ridiculous however. They are all under 40 and have varying backgrounds and applications of agriculture today. Many have taken off from their city lives to carry out their pastoral dreams, some are urban farmers, while others are born and bred family farmers. To quote MNN,

"They're urban, they hold advanced degrees and they're often female. They sprout up in not-so-bucolic places like Brooklyn, Oakland, Atlanta and Indianapolis, and they sometimes work as educators, eco-entrepreneurs, yogis, journalists, filmmakers, activists and doting parents on the side. They're passionate and adventurous. And most notably, they're focused on sustainability and community building."

Also at MNN.com, and back from the dead, is CAPTAIN PLANET (he never really died, but was definitely cancelled on cable).




To see the full list of farmers, click the link below:
MNN.com: 40 farmers under 40

To watch Captain Planet for some retro-satisfaction, click here:
MNN.com: Captain Planet

Marriott, Mikasa, Montreal - Concrete slab falls, crushes diners.

Thursday night, at one of the nicer sushi bars in Montreal, a slab of concrete fell from the Marriott hotel, crashing through the roof of Mikasa's windowed dining room -- killing Léa Guilbeault and injuring her husband. Reports are conflicting, however it is assumed that the slab crushed and killed Guilbeault on contact (and judging from the Gazette reports, it was extremely gory). She was out for an early birthday celebration with her husband. Her birthday was today.

Mikasa is just up the street from where I work, and I once ate there awkwardly with an ex for lunch. That is the extent that I will go to tie myself to this story though, as it seems the Gazette and every other Montreal media outlet has limited itself to mainly "eye-witness accounts," as passers-by and fellow diners have been quoted extensively.

Three days later, very minimal discussion has taken place in the media about why the slab may have fallen in the first place. Considering our weather, I thought regular building safety checks would have been carried out. The Marriott building had not been inspected since 2000, but I am unsure if this is a relatively long time or not when it comes to examining structural integrity. Either way, it was too long in this case. Sometimes I forget the extent to which city services must be in disarray. Things are seemingly under control, but the reality is that we consistently engage in patchwork and band-aid solutions.

This raises a whole range of questions - who is liable? will the victim's family sue Marriott? should the city be conducting more regular and stricter building inspections? will Mikasa sue Marriott? how can Mikasa possibly survive as a successful restaurant after this gruesome tragedy took place in its main dining room? What do we expect of all the involved parties and how far do we go to prevent such things from happening before it is an absurd precaution and restriction upon our daily activities?

Read the Gazette and CBC article below for more information:

CBC: Montreal probes death of woman killed by falling concrete

Montreal Gazette: 'We were sitting next to them, oh my God'


Note: This is a quote from a Listserv e-mail I just received at work:

Please be advised that starting at 1:00 p.m. on Tuesday, July 21st, an architect from ___ will be inspecting the masonry on the building façade. He will require access to offices at the front of the building. Please accord him access as required.

I imagine many institutions and companies, both public and private, will be conducting voluntary 'facade' checks. Such as at my building, where decorative stone could really do some damage:

Tourisme Montréal

I just found this YouTube channel for Tourisme Montréal.



While the content varies greatly, there are a ton of food & drink related videos. The culinary spots are usually hosted by Katherine Rollet, whose interjections can get kind of tiresome, but judging from the selection of restaurants, bakeries and cafés she definitely has great taste. In addition to an Epicurean section, they also have:

• Nightlife - they do a feature on Baldwin Barmacie which is a bar I'm a fan of, as well as hipster-haunts Blizzarts, Korova and Billy Kun.
  
• Arts & Culture - Musée Beaux Arts, the Jazz Festival, Tam Tams, as well as neighbourhood tours are offered.
  
• Girls' Getaway - not sure?
  
• Gay Life - most of which is shot down by my apartment in the Amherst/Beaudry area, where we see the male host and his drag-double partake in activities such as receiving a lesbian haircut (first on his receding hairline and then on their wig), hunt for antiques, and check out local clothing stores.

The Epicurean Life section offers some of the best material out of the bunch. It is kind of uppity and obviously advertisement-like, but it covers so many places that are to my liking, with features on our city's markets and the new Müvbox concept-restaurant, along with other culinary walking tours and restaurant stops that reflect the refined crowd they are trying to court from Toronto and New York City.

This series of videos joins the already existing repertoire of high-production value promotional materials recently developed by Tourisme Montréal, as can be seen on their Montreal TV site. Personally, I prefer something a bit less glossy, but they gotsta get the $$$ I 'spose.

Farm aid vs. Food aid

After finally going to see Food, Inc. and hearing of the G8's recent commitments to farm aid over food aid, I can't help but write about such things. For as long as I can remember, the G8, 'G20', and Western governments have generally subscribed to a view of so-called development in the developing world. A more accurate description of the relationship between developed and developing nation-states would be one of dependency, accompanied by an overarching, yet subtlely-framed theme of 'food security' (whose security they are referring to depends on who you are speaking to though).

Such an approach is more in line with what politicians have openly discussed as burden-sharing, and the panic that is felt when a lack of food leads to political instability, therefore becoming an international security concern as refugees flood over borders. However, we continue to send bags of rice and grain, sterilized seed and other short-term support measures - policy enactments that fail to include a practical and long-term "teach a man to fish" angle. We need to meet immediate needs while literally sowing the seeds for future self-sufficiency.

The idea of offering emergency food aid alone - whether it be bags of grain, money or some combination thereof - has long been understood as a stop-gap measure (except by state politicians it seems). There are many reasons this type of aid continues without the accompaniment of enduring development programmes however:

• a paradoxical philosophy of self-determination, state sovereignty, and responsibility (we wouldn't want to meddle in the affairs of other states by intervening with education and training, but moral obligations state that something must be done);
• a food-drop or bank transfer seems like the most direct, time-efficient and therefore cost-efficient manner of dealing with the hunger dilemma;
• and following from the previous two justifications, yet of a more psychological nature, it is a worry doll solution (let the irony of the Guatemalan history and tourist appropriation of the dolls sink in).
  

If you talk about the problem and then throw money at it so the issue has been dealt with in some capacity, it can then be checked off the list of crisis-level priorities and be stricken from most people's consciences for the time being. That is, until the politicians are due back at the next international conference with their renewed sets of worries and guilt while they cynically wonder how the aid-receiving state could have 'wasted' all that money.

Of course, starvation and hunger persists, Oh-Dearism has become rampant among the increasingly rich, while the often violently, yet sometimes quiescently oppressed populations suffer in apathetic dependence, so leaders of the most wealthy nations respond the only way they know how to, or at least to the extent that they are willing to commit, by pledging aid money and dropping rice from airplanes. The legitimacy of a 'pledge' is quite suspect though. A media-safe and public-satisfying dollar amount (such as the $20-billion recently announced by the G8 in L'Aquila, Italy) will have already been pledged years ago in some manner, perhaps publicly but quite often not, and is simply shuffled from one report or budget to that of the newly-adopted and renamed strategy for feeding the poor.

Obama has other things in mind apparently, and has lead a world-wide shift in policy from food aid to farm aid. I am unsure of how to deal with the whole issue. Emergency aid needs to continue, while we assist people in growing their own food. Under current conditions however, I see no way to help without being heavy-handed, and therefore risking relations with the (often corrupt) governments of these nations in dire need. NGO and UN workers are constantly at risk of being received as bearers of western imperialism, soldiers are obviously not perceived as liberators or saviors, yet we cannot continue to fight the problem with short-term solutions that do not address the root issue of having an incapacity for domestic food production and distribution. I'm hoping the second McGill Conference on Global Food Security in October will provide me with some answers or at least steer me in the right direction.

FarmVille

Bored and on Facebook?

Checkout FarmVille. I won't, but you might like it.

Taste: "The Superhero Of Senses"

Here is a good article from Forbes for you. It is about how resilient, but easily affected, our sense of taste can be:

The Superhero Of Senses by Jonathan Fahey.

Also, if you would like to know more about the olfactory and taste systems, as well as potential disorders, this article from the American Academy of Family Physicians is all-encompassing, yet provides plenty of basic information about the anatomy of smell and taste (with many diagrams!):

Smell and Taste Disorders: A Primary Care Approach
Steven M. Bromley, M.D.
University of Pennsylvania Smell and Taste Center, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

In New York? Miss Montréal? Mile End in Brooklyn.

St. Viateur and Fairmont bagels, poutine, St. Ambroise beer and more at Mile End restaurant in Brooklyn.

97 Hoyt St.
(Atlantic and Pacific Aves.)


Someone let me know how it is??

"When Seal is on the Menu"

It seems as though the seal hunt is always in the media. Every year PETA and the world press highlight its commencement and exert pressure on the seal industry to find a humane end to this issue... an issue that I cannot seem to take a side on.

I first saw the seal hunt in action, beyond the horrible baby-seal-blood-splattered-snow image, on Anthony Bourdain's show No Reservations back in 2007, where he visited an Inuit community in northern Quebec (these videos are not for the faint-hearted, but you gain a respect for one culture's use of the animal):

Then we have Canada's Governor General, Michaëlle Jean, cutting open a seal and eating its raw heart:

So when I read these New York Times articles about seal on the menu at Au Cinquième Péché, as well as several other restaurants in Montréal, I felt like I had to share:

and "Canadian Chefs Serve Seal, With a Side of Controversy" both by Micheline Maynard.

Salt!

Did you know a 1/2 cup of Cheerios has more salt than 31 individual Ms. Vickie's brand chips? Scary. No wonder the FDA is giving General Mills such a hard time.

When cooking, I mostly fail to consider the salt content of my food, unless it is related to flavor. After being reminded in nearly every recipe that calls for butter or stock, I only buy unsalted butter and low or no sodium stocks (veal, chicken, veg). In my opinion, your meals should not be salty, but they should be well-seasoned with salt so to stimulate saliva production.

Both acid and salt act alike in this way. Many people will make the mistake of continuing to add salt to their dish, when a squeeze of lemon or vinegar would have done the trick. As you produce saliva, it begins to chemically break-down what you are also mechanically breaking-down by chewing. While saliva acts as a first stage of digestion, it also affects the sensitivity of our TASTE BUDS.

I would by lying to myself if I denied being in love with soy sauce, salt & vinegar chips, and salted snack mix though. They tear my mouth apart and create both a satisfaction and urge to repeat like only sodium can. They're great, seriously. Since I have a bipolar penchant for controlling and consuming, I inevitably began to wonder about the food that I eat daily, which is prepared to some degree, but I have yet to check or even care about the sodium content.

Then pops up this 'Special Report' by The Globe & Mail. You should click-through to the multi-part series here: The Globe & Mail - Salt: Hard to Shake. The articles are comprehensive, while the videos have the usual CTV hokey-ness to them. It is a pretty decent feature, despite sometimes attempting to reproduce the same diet-craze formula we know so well when we hear the words cholesterol, fat, trans-fat, carbohydrates, and now salt. I feel like a health-nut or an old man talking about this sort of thing. I will make sure that my following post is a little lighter in mood.

I promise. I will not mention tuna for months after this.

LINK: Japanese scientists to breed 'super tuna'

"Japanese scientists will have bred a new "super-tuna" within a decade that will be stronger, more resistant to disease and taste better than the bluefin presently in the oceans."

Oh yeah, happy Canada Day.

I will not eat bacon or maple syrup or drink Tim Horton's coffee today.

While we're on the topic of Canada though, do you remember the Canada Food Guide? You know, the staple of Canadian K-12 health education, with dubious servings and industry influence? It's back.

CANADA'S FOOD GUIDE (for entertainment purposes only)

P.S. I can hear the Canadian anthem playing from the JazzFest right now. I can also hear some bickering Québécois neighbours. I can't understand them, but I doubt they're happy about it.

I don't care about what you eat.

Knowing I enjoy food, my friends often let me know what they have eaten recently. For the most part, it's a genuine effort to share what they have enjoyed in my absence, willingly giving me a rundown on the preparation, where they picked up the goods, and what was or wasn't a success about the meal.

Now imagine if nearly every stranger out there was trying to let you know ONLY what they have eaten. Somehow, they have convinced themselves that not just their close friends (or lack of), but everyone cares about what they have just consumed.

Let me introduce you to FoodFeed - the most annoying retooling of Twitter yet.
Take this guy as a prime example - I don't know him, I'm sure he's alright, I just don't give a shit about what he's ingesting: http://jun6lee.foodfeed.us/.

My criticism toward media of this kind is related to a greater peeve that I have with many food publications, both print and online. Most of them have become (or have always been) a lure for advertisements, with short and irrelevant articles matched to photoshopped food, or they function as a place to jockey for status as you drop a line about where you dined last.

Fortunately, as we have seen with many shitty technologies, we manage to make something decent of them. In this case however, the saving grace of Twitter is irrelevant for FoodFeed. The only practical use Twitter has given us so far is to provide hurried bits of breaking news, for which writing a full article on the matter is not possible due to an oppressed voice or the urgency, immediacy or hostility of the event. If this is the one practical use of Twitter, how can you convince me that your latest "adventurous" salad with mandarin in it is worth hearing about? If you cannot tell us (in the space provided) how the dressing was made and what type of lettuce is in it, we just have no practical use for your information, and it otherwise functions as poor entertainment. If you feel the need to keep track of your diet, just do it in a spreadsheet!

Anyway, enough of my griping! Make sure to check again soon for an update on why you shouldn't waste your money on many food magazines. I will be providing both free and superior alternatives to the holy trinity: Food & Wine, Gourmet, and Cook's Illustrated.

NSFW Food Porn Craziness.

Bizarre Mag is a British publication specializing in the examination of what is "bizarre", and (re)producing it, often leading to explicit content that some would say borders on porn. For their most recent June cover, they shot Aria Giovanni getting intimate with some pretty tasty, but raunchy food. Of course, I have many reasons for taking great interest in promoting such things!


Now, just follow me for a second and entertain the possibility of this scenario:
You are out on the town with your best platonic girl friend, Sophie, and several of your mutual friends. Fashionably late, Aria shows up to party. She is a friend of a close friend (and NOT a porn star). Aria looks like a cross between Monica Bellucci and Angelina Jolie, except maybe playful enough to score with on a drunken one-night-stand. The evening is going great, and you're looking to close the deal. But just when you have drunkenly convinced yourself that you are taking Aria home, after spending everything you had on drinks... she hooks up with Sophie (who was 'straight,' more or less).

Upon waking from the couch in Sophie's apartment, you recall downing a 3am 'snack' and taking a catnap/passing-the-F-out. All of a sudden, memories of the previous nights' dream come flowing in; images of a candy-colored Aria covered in prosciutto, canned beans, Diet Coke and hotdogs. You rush to get your dream down on paper, scribbling with highlighters and a melting chocolate bar, all the while foreclosing the possibility that your imagination will continue running on to Sophie covered in brie and berries (been there, done that, too sticky, too smelly, too much Sophie).
This is how I assume the following photo shoot was conceived!

I stumbled across this link at EatMeDaily.com, a site that I love for its simple look and diverse posts (and despite its name, I swear is not just about food porn). As a testament to this, they did not risk embedding the video directly on their site, which I did below. If you would prefer to go right to the interview with Aria and the final photographs, CLICK HERE.

ENJOY! (nudity)

ZAGAT ratings have begun!

I know many of you are Chowhounders.

As community-based as Chowhound is, and as seemingly monolithic and corporate as Zagat seems, many people forget that Zagat was one of first major restaurant guides to rely on the public for ratings. Now, don't get me wrong, I have many problems with the ratings system, which are echoed in this Food & Wine article by Mimi Sheraton.

Zagat however, could have reproduced the model of a hidden arbiter of taste, in which a group or a single person adds a review to the canon, like the Michelin Guide ("Famously Anonymous") or the New York Times model, where a critic would avoid her/his picture being published so to remain anonymous while dining and reviewing. Of course, this was well before you could become relatively famous all on the premise of writing about food, and make a killing off TV appearances and book deals. These shady characters (or celebrities now) tend to have extremely well-educated palates, sometimes to a fault, if that makes any sense.

On the other hand, at Chowhound we find an ever-expanding, dynamic, community-based discussion, available on any topic under the sun, including restaurants. The thing is, with both Zagat and Chowhound, we find the problem of validity - does anyone here actually know what they're talking about and did they really eat there or are they a disgruntled former employee or an eager owner? Most of the time the answer is yes (to all of the above), so although you have to be wary, nothing is better than first-hand advice that you can openly discuss, question and pick the best of.

Which is better? Most review and ratings systems have their own benefits and pitfalls, so it comes down to knowing what to look out for in each. None of them are indispensable on their own, but use them in combination with your own experience and discretion and you may find they become an indispensable tool for finding a good meal once in a while, especially if you're in a city that is new to you.

After clicking the link, pick your region. At the moment the options are limited to Canada (Montreal, Toronto, Vancouver), Europe (all of it!) and 東京のレストラン (something Japanese... Tokyo?). Also, you'll need to create an account. It's quick - I did it, and I'm really lazy. Like really, really lazy.

RATE YOUR DINING EXPERIENCES HERE FOR THE ZAGAT GUIDE.


GET YOURSELF A CHOWHOUND ACCOUNT HERE & GET IN ON THE DISCUSSION.

More tuna?

While I write up my gnocchi night, you should watch this video shot at the Tsukiji (築地市場) fish market in Japan. Despite having quite a dismal tone and content to it, the way that the translated speech of these Tokyo fishmongers comes out is pretty humorous. Wait for the "Catherine Zeta-Jones type of tuna" (2 minutes in). Plus, I posted a video of salt-crusted sea bass previously, so I had to follow it up with some tuna sashimi. Sorry about the commercials in advance.

Recipe: Roast Tenderloin of Cured Pork with Baked Apples

I can't believe that this turned out as well as it did. Much better than expected. Up to this point I had yet to cure, brine, pickle or even preserve - nothing of the sort.

The pork came out juicy, the apples were sweet, tart and soft - a small square of butter helped, though they could have been softer had I timed them better, and the onions and carrots were braised, then browned with cinnamon and maple syrup, just as they should be.

I had to cut the recipe in half since I was only cooking a tenderloin for myself, not an entire loin on the bone as called for by the recipe in Chez Panisse Cooking (Bertolli with Waters, 1994).

It is a really basic brine, and I would not expect anything less (more?) in Alice Waters' repertoire. It does take 24 hours to prepare however, so best to use this recipe when you have a day to wait, and a couple spare things around to make the brine - parts of carrots, celery, onions, and the last bit of your purchased herbs or a couple from your garden.

Juniper berries can be found at most health stores and fancy grocery stores, or if you're lucky enough, on a nearby Juniper tree (think gin). If you've had your fair share of gin hangovers, you can leave these guys out.

Do make sure to grab some good pork though. If you're in the Montreal-area with a deep-freezer or a serious addiction to pork, rumor has it these guys are the best: Porcherie Ardennes (Martin Picard, of Au Pied du Cochon, apparently sources from here). If not, do the next best thing -- grain-fed from your local butcher or grocer. While you're at it, make sure to grab some string from your butcher. It's always nice to tuck back the 'tail' of the loin, and wrap the entire cut around a sprig or two of rosemary.

Roast Tenderloin of Cured Pork with Baked Apples (serves 2)

For the brine:

• 1/4 cup + pinch, additive-free kosher salt
• 3/8 cup granulated sugar
• 1/2 gallon (just under 2 litres) ice water
• 10 whole juniper berries
• 10 whole allspice berries
• 1/2 teaspoon whole black peppercorns
• 1/2 leafy stalk of celery, thinly sliced
• 1/2 a medium carrot, thinly sliced
• 1/8 yellow onion, thinly sliced
  
• 2 sprigs thyme
• 2 sprigs parsley
• 1 bay leaf

For the pork:

• 1 pork tenderloin
• freshly ground pepper
• 2 sprigs rosemary

For the apples:

• 2-3 granny smith apples (or other tart apples that can stand up to cooking. Maybe Bramley? Ha.)
• 1 tablespoon brown sugar
• 1 teaspoon cinnamon
• 1/2 teaspoon nutmeg
• a couple twists of freshly ground black pepper
  
• 1 pad butter

For the vegetables:

• 8-10 assorted pearl onions (also known as cocktail onions)
• 6-8 medium carrots (not those massive ones in the plastic bag)
• MAPLE SYRUP!
• CINNAMON!
  

------------------------

Brine the pork a day ahead to tenderize and flavor the meat. As described by Paul Bertolli, "brining is like marinating, although the effect is more radical: the pork is entirely submerged for 2 to 5 days [or in our case and a small cut, 1 day] and the flavors of the brine reach to the very center of the meat, imparting characteristics of a mildly cured ham."

Had tenderloin in the restaurant, but couldn't figure out how to get it so flavorful once at home? This is the missing element.

For the brine:

• In a large bowl, dissolve the salt and the sugar in the ice water.
• Crack the pepper, juniper berries and allspice in a mortar.
• Add the vegetables, herbs and spices to the water.
• Wash out and scald a stainless-steel pot or ceramic bowl with a lid.
• Place the tenderloin in the pot and poor the brine over top of it, completely submerging the meat.
• Store in the refrigerator at 40°F for 18-24 hours.

[...sleep. work. come home...]

• Preheat the oven to 350°F.
• Line a plate with paper towels. Remove the meat from the brine and place onto the paper towels. Dry and remove any excess brine on the surface.
• Fold the tenderloin in half, length-wise, placing a couple of rosemary sprigs in the crease. Wrap string around the thicker end of the tenderloin, tying a knot to anchor it there. Then wrap around the meat again, securing the half-length fold, while moving the string toward the 'tail' of the tenderloin.
• Tuck in the 'tail' of the tenderloin, over top of the rosemary sprigs and into the length-wise fold, then securing it in place by wrapping the remaining string around it and finishing with another knot. This helps ensure that the meat cooks evenly, as it will have a consistent width throughout.

For the apples:

• Slice the top quarter of the apples off, core the rest. Stuff the apples with brown sugar, cinnamon, nutmeg, black pepper (yes! black pepper), and a lil'bit'a'butta.
• Get a small pyrex dish or loaf pan. Fill it with just enough water to line the bottom. Place the apples in the dish and their tops back on them. If they won't sit flat, slice a bit of the bottom off so they have a flat surface to rest on. Cover the dish with aluminum foil and bake until their insides are soft and mushy and the skins are brown and wrinkled.
  

For the pork and vegetables:

• Preheat a cast-iron skillet and oil it with a high smoke-point oil and a touch of butter.
• In your cast-iron, sear the outside of the tenderloin until both sides are browned.
• Coat the meat in fresh pepper.
• Remove the cast-iron from your stove and place it in the oven. Roast the pork for just over 20 minutes (140°F internal temperature), depending on the size.
  
• Once finished, remove the meat from the pan and wrap tightly in aluminum foil to let it rest.
• Place the pan back on the stove on medium-high. Add water to the pan and de-glaze it with a wooden spoon.
• Next, add the peeled carrots and pearl onions to the pan. Cover to let braise. Remove pan from the element when done (5-7 minutes?), drizzle with maple syrup and cinnamon. Let cool slightly, then remove remaining skins from the onions.
• Unwrap and untie the meat, removing the rosemary and setting aside for garnish. Cut as shown above.
• Prepare a salad beforehand, then serve the pork with baked apple, carrots and onions, fresh out of the oven and off the stove.